


Azkaban

by SamSavesMe



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crossover, Depression, Gen, Sam Has Self-Worth Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-07
Updated: 2016-06-07
Packaged: 2018-07-12 22:09:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7124305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamSavesMe/pseuds/SamSavesMe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Forces other than the demons and the angels are watching the Apocalypse situation. Wizards have to live on this planet, too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Azkaban

Sam checks his voicemail. Maybe he can make it up to Dean, and they can do this together after all. There’s nothing that he would like more than to be allowed to be Dean’s brother again. He can’t give up stopping the Apocalypse for that, though. It would be too selfish, even for an abomination like Sam. Just… he wants to have both. If something can go right in his life for the first time, he wishes it could be this. 

Sam presses play as Ruby waits to the side, sighing heavily and rolling her eyes. “Better think fast,” she says. He’s trying, but he _can’t_ , not with the choice between the life of the innocent nurse or the continued existence of the world resting on his shoulders. He sees a voicemail from Dean, and something inside of him breaks. He wants to cry. Instead, he presses play. The words flood his ears and shuts down his brain. After the first sentence, Sam can’t pull in a breath. He’s numb and can’t move, and he’s scared. 

_“Listen to me, you bloodsucking freak.”_

Sam’s world ends. A comet comes crashing down and destroys everything, leaving him standing alone in the ruin. Sam wants the message to stop, for this to all be one long, horrible dream, for him to wake up tomorrow in his crib with his mom standing over him smiling and laughing. The message continues to play despite all of this.

_“Dad always said I’d either have to save you or kill you. Well, I’m giving you fair warning. I’m done trying to save you. You’re a monster, Sam- a vampire. You’re not you anymore. And there’s no going back.”_

He can feel the weight of Ruby’s silent _I told you so_ on the back of his neck. Deep breath in, deep breath out. When he says, “Do it,” Sam thinks he may finally be giving up the last piece of himself. Dean’s right- he is a monster. Still, he’s going to save the world or die trying. It’s his fault the world broke in the first place, and he has to clean up his own damn mess like a big kid. Dean can’t coddle him anymore, not like he did when they were younger. Sam’s done taking thinks and draining those that love him. He just wants to rest. When Cindy screams, his heart shatters. 

Sam doesn’t have time to process what happens next before the world completely leaves him in a dizzying blur. His hands are bound behind his back by the time his feet touch solid ground again, though he can’t feel any restraints on them. Now’s when his hunting instincts should be kicking, when he should start struggling and hitting and kicking, but he’s too tired to fight back. He doesn’t much care what comes next. 

No trial, they told him, not when it comes to matters concerning the well-being of the entire planet. Life sentence. They explained that if they hadn’t stopped him, he would have single-handedly started the apocalypse, stupid freak that he is. Lilith and seals and Lucifer, all a blur of an explanation. Sam doesn’t care, doesn’t respond or nod or speak. 

Azkaban is awful, truly it is. Nothing to do but sit and dwell. The hooded creatures definitely have an effect on him, making the hollow inside of him more noticeable than usual, but honestly, he’s had that infinite pit in his chest for years now. The only difference is now there’s nothing to break up the bleakness, no shining moments of clarity when Dean jokingly punches him on the shoulder or when they play honest to god pranks. 

Sam Winchester becomes more of a shell than he was before, which is saying something. He can’t feel anything, but honestly he thinks he prefers it this way. He curls up in his cell and waits for the end of his life sentence to come sooner rather than later. His brain begins to fracture irreversibly.Somebody drops a thing of water in sometimes, food less often. His appetite diminishes with each passing hour. There’s no day and night in these stone walls, just… empty.

His routine is shaken a few years in (he had stopped caring about the date a long time ago) when a young woman comes to speak with him. She seems to want to be there even less than he does. “There’s been some changes in leadership, the rising of that Granger girl and all. Passed laws for rights of prisoners. Honestly, she seemed appalled that the new ministry would dare sentence with no trial after that mess in the 80’s. Can’t say I blame her, of course.” The words wash in and out like static; Sam can’t seem to focus in on any one sentence. The girl flinches as one of the creatures passes by and the wave of sad washes over them, now barely even noticeable to Sam.

He uncurls from his ball on the ground and stretches his body. It’s sore, and limbs he didn’t even know existed are asleep. She binds his wrists with some glowing vine, but is gentle when she pulls on his arm. “Come with me,” the woman says, and leads him into the sun away from the _terrorfearnumb_ that had been his everything for who knows how long. She taps him with a stick and they’re away, free, and Sam breathes in fresh air that fills his lungs completely. 

They’re on a huge case of stone steps, which, as explained by his companion, lead to the room his trial will be held in. “They’ll be starting soon,” she warns. He understands this may end in him getting thrown right back in the prison, but there’s also the hope of a different outcome, that he might be allowed to leave at some point and see Dean again, if Dean wants of course. With the warmth of the sun on his face and the wind blowing through his matted hair, he feels like maybe, just maybe, he’s been given a new beginning.

**Author's Note:**

> Filled for a Tumblr prompt over a year ago, being transferred to my new ao3. Let me know what you think!


End file.
